There’s one mentor in my life that’s mastered the art of encouragement—let’s call him Chuck. Not even one week after I met Chuck, he told me “I’m proud of you”, and he’s weaved that phrase into every conversation we’ve had since. It’s almost as if every sentence Chuck says must have at least one encouragement in it. Chuck has a voice deep enough to make Morgan Freeman sound like a soprano and a gaze so sincere you can see the twinkle in his eye. If you asked Chuck about himself, he would thank you for asking, answer your question genuinely, and quickly turn the conversation back to you, not because he doesn’t like to talk about himself, but because he’d rather talk about you. Quite frankly, Chuck is humble. Perhaps C.S. Lewis describes Chuck best when he says, “To even get near [humility], even for a moment, is like a drink of cold water to a man in a desert. Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.” That’s Chuck. You’d be pleased to meet him.
There is something about the way Chuck encourages. If Chuck’s words weren’t stated with such intentionality and sincerity, you would write them off as absurdly bloated flattery. But you don’t. Chuck makes you feel like you’re the only person he’s ever complimented. His kind words shine a light on the very fabric of your personality and put whatever goodness you have front and center. With one encouraging comment from Chuck, you can find yourself questioning how someone could say something so nice about you while simultaneously yearning to become the sort of person he described. Chuck’s exhortations illuminate who you are and prophesy about who you’ll become. And you’ll WANT to become what Chuck says you are, if only to make Chuck proud. In the most rudimentary sense, Chuck’s encouragement gives life.
I want to be like Chuck. All this year I’ve been learning and practicing encouragement. While I once reduced kind words to the sort of thing saved for birthday cards and first dates, I’ve learned that a day without encouragement—whether given or taken—is not a day well spent. But what makes encouragement encouraging? What is it about Chuck’s encouragement that emulates cold water to the parched tongue?

Encouragement is Important

This probably isn’t a point that needs much explaining—but here we go. Encouragement, like rainfall, is not the first thing you thank God for (unless you’re a farmer), but when you are in a discouraging draught, encouragement is the only thing you yearn for. Crops struggle to grow without rainfall and your life will struggle to be fruitful without encouragement. It’s hard to encourage when you aren’t encouraged yourself. Quite simply, the encouraged, encourage and the discouraged, discourage.
Taking this analogy in full, the greatest way to encourage is to draw from a source of encouragement, and the greatest source of encouragement is the God of Encouragement. If you want to learn how to encourage well, then you should know the One who sings praise over you day and night. My friend Chuck is a great encourager simply because he is imitating the One he loves. He is impersonating a God who is constantly thinking well of you; He is not disappointed in you. If you are His child, He is forever proud of you. I mean, just listen to Zephaniah 3:17—“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” The Lord is not messing around when it comes to encouragement, so it follows that the greatest encouragers are the ones closest to The Great Encourager. He is the fountain from which we draw our strength and pour out the finest praise.

Encouragement is Heartfelt

            The first thing that differentiates encouragement from flattery is the motive behind the words said. We’ve all been pandered and patronized; we’ve been sold to our whole lives. We can tell when someone is trying to butter us up. Words uttered with the motive of receiving rather than giving are not encouragement. Encouragement seeks to give for the sake of giving and it finds that giving is truly better than receiving. If you’ve ever given true heartfelt encouragement, you’ve probably found that you feel as good—if not better—than the person you’re encouraging. Encouragement is a reverse economy: the more you give, the more you get.
           
Encouragement is Specific

            Our culture has an unfortunate habit of calling things “amazing” when they really mean “acceptable” and “awesome” when they really mean “good”. We’ve used up the very peak of our praises on meager things, so when it comes to encouragement, we can barely determine whether we are any more awesome than a “fantastic” milkshake or an “amazing” cup of coffee. We need to elevate our expressed love for each other beyond standard language we use to describe everything else. Quite simply, our encouragement towards one another needs to be as unique as the person we are describing. Great encouragement goes beyond beige, over-inflated superlatives and lands right at the heart of a person’s unique personality. For example, there has never been, nor will there ever be, another you. You are a divine snapshot of the character of God that will never be seen again in history. If I really wanted to encourage you, I would forget simplistic words like “nice” and “good” and “great” and I would search the very depths of who God created you to be, and with the most detail possible, let you know what I see.
Encouragement reveals the valuable qualities of a person whether you believe they “deserve it” or not. If we waited to encourage people until we thought they utterly deserved it, praise would be endangered species. Encouragement is self-fulfilling. It points at both ability and potential. It is who you who are and who you’re becoming. Encouragement, done right, illuminates the glory of God in each and every one of us.

Encouragement is Inspired

            Lastly, encouragement is not derived merely from our own intellect. If you want to be a tremendous encourager, let the Holy Spirit help. Ask God for people to encourage. Ask the Spirit what to say. That’s what He’s there for! They don’t call the Spirit the Encourager for nothin’! Let your words be seasoned with salt—the salt of the Gospel and the seasoning of Christ’s love. The best encouragement comes straight from the Source. There is no greater way to know what to say than to walk with the Holy Spirit. Do you want to be used by Jesus? Stay close to Him. I guarantee He will use you. It is as simple as that. If you start asking God to give you one person today to love and encourage, you’ll be amazed—and sometimes scared—of how God answers your request. It’s a risky prayer, but it’s a risk worth taking.



Ultimately, I pray you have at least one Chuck in your life. You need them. I’m married to one of the greatest encouragers I know, and she is so precious that I’m not willing to share! Okay, maybe I’ll share. It’s better to give than to receive, right? Nevertheless, no matter where it comes from, encouragement remains one of the most empowering and fulfilling activities in which we can take part of. I hope you were encouraged by this reflection, and if you actually read this smattering of incoherent thoughts, you’ve encouraged me too.