Knowledge Puffs; Love Builds

Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies

“We know that “We all possess knowledge.” But knowledge puffs up while love builds up. Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know.” We should remember that while knowledge may make a man look big, it is only love that can make him grow to his full stature. For whatever a man may know, he still has a lot to learn, but if he loves God, he is opening his whole life to the spirit of God. The only thing that matters is faith expressing itself through love. I could blog day and night about the deep mysteries of the gospel, but I would sooner bring one person to freedom in Christ than unravel all the mysteries of the divine Word. A Christian ought to be a comforter, with kind words on his lips and sympathy in his heart; he should carry sunshine to the darkness wherever he goes and diffuse happiness around him. If you see Jesus and abide in the life of his countenance habitually, your face, your character, your life will grow resplendent, even without knowing it. If the tender mercy of God has visited us, and done so much more for us than I can tell or than you can hear, let us ourselves exhibit tender mercy with those around us. He who imparts life into others is the one who lives the most and lives to the fullest.

To be known

“But whoever loves God is known by God.” Perhaps the greatest treasure we have awaiting us is the Father looking at us and saying “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” It brings me unending joy to hear the Father sing over me “I know Jeremy. He is my son. I love him.” He is saying the same about you. Have you ever thought of God looking at you and your life with all your baggage, your junk, and your ups and downs, and then saying, " I want to be generous to you. I long to give to you just what would make you happy--not because you deserve it, but because there's something about who I am that would bring me infinite joy to express that kind of generosity to you."

He delights in me

"Because he delights in me, he saved me"(ps. 18:19). There are many reasons God saves you: to bring glory to himself, to appease his justice, to demonstrate sovereignty. But one of the sweetest reasons God saved you is because he is fond of you. He likes having you around. Not because of your decency, or good works or good attitude or good looks. The last thing you should worry about is being a nuisance to God. All you need to concentrate on is doing what he tells you to do.

“There is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.” But not everyone possesses this knowledge. Some people are still chasing fame, or the American dream, or “the one”, or success, or respect, or pleasure, or purpose, or the perfect song, or the perfect party, or the perfect body, or whatever promises satisfaction and fulfillment. The thing is, idols typically break the hearts of their worshippers. Usually an idol is a good thing that becomes a god thing. We often find what our idol is when we face the prospect of losing it. Many of us seek to manipulate God to get our idols.

*Begin Rant* Everyone thinks someone else is rich. Someone thinks you’re rich. “I am the 99%?”. To the rest of the world, you’re in the top 5%. The biggest medical problem in our country is obesity. Before now, that’s never really been a huge issue. There’s never been a group of people that were like “we have so much food and so little space for it that we’re dying of cheeseburgers and malted milk duds”. We’re the rich. Jesus asks us “Is that your God or am I?” *End Rant*

You don’t need to be rich to have money as your idol.

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Let's talk about sex...

This post is full of wisdom gathered from the Word, my own life, and people far wiser than I. 

Let's talk about SEX

How did you first learn about sex? From your parents? Your friends? Some form of media? How many of you feel that your first exposure to the topic of sexuality was helpful, healthy and should be replicated for your children someday? In the church, we just don’t talk about it enough.

Say a crocodile comes up, bites a man’s arm off, and then goes back in the water…but no one ever talked about it, because it was impolite to talk about crocodiles. All over the town, there were maimed people—but no one talked about it and they kept eating by the river, never worrying about losing parts of their body. It is the same with our sexuality.

Sex is presenting yourself as a gift

Most of us, through no intentional fault of our own, have not learned to think about sex through accurate biblical, theological, and moral perspectives. There is an undeniable and unpreventable connection between sexuality and spirituality. You can’t read the Bible without realizing almost instantly that God cares a great deal about our sexuality. As an observation, I have never known anyone who had an unhealthy or unsanctified sex life who also had a vibrant, complete spiritual life. As opposed to asserting that sex is primarily for procreation or pleasure, Christians believe that sex is ultimately about presenting yourself as a gift to another. It is about self-donation, about giving yourself away. It is covenant-cement; you become one with someone. If God didn’t exist, then you would be just an animal. Nothing more, nothing less. Implication: you should reproduce as much as possible and seek all the pleasure you can possibly find. However, because God has revealed his existence, what he says about sex is too important to ignore or neglect.. How you treat an object reveals how you feel about its creator and owner. “When I respect the image of God in others, I protect the image of God in myself.” Sexual sin is typically the first sign of a refusal to worship God.  

Historically:

In the ancient Near Eastern worldview, the sexual activity of human beings was simply an earthly reflection of what was believed to be taking place in the heavenly realm.  They understood sex as a reflection of life in the heavenly realms…where the deities they believed in had sex with each other. Many of the gods who were worshipped by ancient religions were fertility gods and were honored not simply through sacrifice, but through sex. The gods which the Israelites worshiped instead of God were Asherah and Baal—each of whom was worshipped through sex. Furthermore, no Jew could ever have sex without thinking about God! Sex is a sacrament.

Sex plays a significant part in everybody’s life from the age of 12 until they die.

Not only does are body produce hormones that cause us to think certain thoughts and act certain ways, but we cannot divorce ourselves from our sexual identity. I am a man, and I relate to other men man to man. When I relate to Sarah, I relate to her as a man to a woman. My sex is a root to who I am.

Your view of sexuality reveals your view of humanity.

Lower views of sex assume/assert that you can give your body to another person and not give yourself to that person. Christians reject that assumption. Likewise, lower views of sex assume/assert that you can have sex with someone and still maintain independence. Christians also reject that assumption. When you have sex with someone, you become one with them. God intended that you would only become one with one person.

The body for the Lord and the Lord for the body

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.  Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. Obedience isn't a feeling. If we comply with God's directions only when it fits in with our goals and interests, then we are trying to get God to orbit around us.

Discipleship involves your sex life.

Right relationships are central to righteousness. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus’ first three descriptions of life in the kingdom of heaven are all about relationships, and two are specifically about sexuality.  One of the churches most pressing tasks is to raise up a generation who cares more about God than they do about their next orgasm. With every sexual decision you make, you are bringing either heaven or hell to earth. We intrinsically know that our sexual decisions have spiritual ramifications. Though we will not have sex in heaven, our sex life must be submitted to principles that will be in heaven—namely sacrificial love.

Getting to the heart of sexual sin

The enemy loves to ask “Did God really say you can’t ___________?” Just look at the fall of man. The enemy suggests that God’s guidelines are overly-restrictive, unnecessary, and infringe on what is best for you as a person. Moreover, it seems we as humans have a propensity to desire  and take what God has put restrictions on. All sin is rooted in not trusting God. Sin is selfishness. At its core, sin is placing yourself above God and others.

Observation:  What does it reveal that in our culture, the most effective strategy to keep people from having sex is itself self-centered? “Don’t have sex because if you do, you’ll get an STD and your life won’t be as good!”

-Sexual sin is typically the first sign of a refusal to worship God.

-Sexual sin will derail you as no other sin has the capacity to. If every other area in your life is solid but you have unresolved sexual sin, your life will be in chaos. 

- Sexual sin’s capacity to give pleasure is surpassed only by its capacity to bring pain.

- Sexual sin ruins relationships.

- Sexual sin results in shame.

- Sexual sin will always hurt those you care about the most.

- The pain from sexual sins will heal, but the scars will likely remain.

Sexual sin is very rarely, if ever, the real issue that someone is dealing with.

“Every man who knocks at the door of a brothel is looking for God.” –G.K. Chesterton.

-If you cut off a branch it will grow back. If you have bad fruit, you need new roots.

-Sexual sin almost always begins with the rationale, “If I had ____________, than I would be more complete.”

- Sexual sin comes from a deep lack of satisfaction with life.

This world often uses sex as a means of momentarily anesthetizing or distracting people from the basic emptiness of their lives.-- Stanley Grenz

- When the only contemporary means of self-transcendence is sex, we Christians are going to have a tough time convincing people that it would be nicer if they were not promiscuous.

The real issue in our lives isn’t about sex, but love. 

Your struggle with sex isn’t about sex, it is about intimacy—

The type of intimacy that:

-Elevates you beyond yourself

-Enables you to truly encounter another

-Brings you lasting satisfaction

-Has the capacity to change you for the better.

Regardless of how sexually active or sexual chaste you are, you will never truly be sexually satisfied until you have found love and intimacy (transcendence) with God.

When a friend of mine who counsels people with sexual brokenness meets with people who are unhealthy sexually, his first questions are typically in this order:

-In what ways has this person yet to understand/experience/ realize the love of God?

-In what ways has this person yet to understand/experience/realize the love of community?

If people can’t experience transcendence in God, they will, if only out of necessity, resort to searching for it in sex. Sex will offer transcendence, but at most it will be pseudo-transcendence if God is not central to the equation.

The essence of sex

Sex is about connection; it’s about knowing another and being known by another as part of the mutual exchange of the gift of yourselves. When you have sex with someone you are saying to them, “You can know me in the most intimate, vulnerable way possible.”

Sex requires you to be naked with someone else, and the physical aspect is secondary.

“The red-light district of Amsterdam is so sexually repressed.” –Rob Bell

Rape is the ultimate devaluation of sex. It becomes about taking, not giving. It becomes about transaction, not knowledge. Therefore, in a sense, lust is rape. You are taking knowledge that has not been given to you. You making someone known to you without their consent. Continually, casual sex is consensual rape. It is the height of selfishness.

The man who has struggled to purify himself and has had nothing but repeated failures will experience real relief when he stops tinkering with his soul and looks away to the perfect One. While he looks at Christ, the very things he has so long been trying to do will be getting done within him. Christian discipleship is a process of paying more and more attention to God's righteousness and less and less attention to our own; finding the meaning of our lives not by probing our moods and motives and morals but by believing in God's will and purposes; making a map of God's faithfulness, not charting the rise and fall of our enthusiasms.

1.    Avoid sexual gratification through masturbation.

-We need to talk about this because I’m guessing 95% of guys I know struggle with it and somewhere between 30-40% of girls (though they are less apt to discuss it)

-We almost never hear about this. I never heard about this in church!

-I never heard about it from a parent or a trusted authority

10 reasons I want to admonish you to avoid it!

-It is, in essence, selfish…the root of all sin

-Because it is selfish, it doesn’t prepare you for marital sex (either practically or mentally)

-It doesn’t represent God’s plan for orgasm or for sexuality in marriage.

-It produces guilt

-It leads to loneliness (after orgasm the body releases chemicals that result in intense bonding…in marriage, that is perfect. In masturbation, that is depressing.)

-It becomes habitual and addictive

-The bible says not to be mastered by anything. (1 Cor 6:12)

-It is the opposite of self control—the fruit of the Spirit

-Romans 14:22 Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.

-I cannot think of a single way it will help you look, live or love more like Jesus.

2     Avoid sexual gratification through touching or being touched by another person

To be honest, when I was growing up, since no one ever talked about sex in my family or in church—it wasn’t until I was 16 and we took a survey in my youth group about what everyone thought was “too far” that I realized things could be way too far that weren’t sex. All I ever heard was “no sex until marriage.”

Avoid intentionally exciting yourself or another person in the sort of way that elicits sexual arousal in you or them.

In this I would include kissing to the point of arousal, necking, touching sexual parts of the body or caressing of any part of the body. Each of these actions naturally lead to sexual arousal, which means they are intended for marriage.

What good are you accomplishing through fondling another person?

3.      Avoid unnecessary sexual stimulation.

-With the movies you watch (elaborate)—You’d blush if Jesus were in the room

-With the conversations you have (some conversations with your friends are counter-productive)

-With the media you consume on the internet (facebook is huge!—I know so many guys who talk about giving into sexual sin after looking through facebook pictures of THEIR FRIENDS)

-I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a woman. (Job 31:1)

-This is honestly a really good test to see if you are a slave or free when it comes to sexual sin. When something like this comes your way, what does it result in you doing?

4.      When you are tempted sexually, turn your desire and attention towards God.

Once you recognize that there is a desire in your heart or mind, acknowledge it before God outloud, then confess that your greatest desire is for God-to know him, love him, obey him and seek his delight. Then say, because I want you more than anything else, I refuse to follow this desire, I commit to follow you.

(First Night… “How have I failed you”)

Pray for an ever-increasing love for God and for an ever-increasing delight in obeying his commands. “The expulsive power of a new affection.”

You know one of the most effective ways to get over a person you had a crush on? Fall in love with someone new…especially if they are someone better!!

5.  Submerge your mind in scripture every day.

-Simply praying and asking God to remove this sin isn’t going to practically do much (I’m speaking from talking with dozens and dozens and dozens of guys)

-Romans 12

-Matthew 4

-five out of seven days isn’t enough.

-Two out of seven days isn’t enough.

-Every day if you are in the process of breaking free from sexual addiction.

6.  Stay busy with things that matter.

I’m not talking about over committing yourself, (though college students are, by in large, some of the lazier people I know).

I am talking about keeping your mind busy (Philippians 4:8-9) Whatever is true, whatever is noble…etc.

If you go to bed and the first thing you do is read a chapter of the bible and then the second thing you to is thank God for 10 blessings he gave you that day and the third thing you do is pray for your family and friends…you’ll be asleep by the time you would otherwise have given into sexual sin.

Biblical example from Ephesians 4:28 “He who has been stealing but steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.”

 (1)Remove this (2) Replace it with this (3) Results in this…your reward (Greater than before)

7.  Stay connected to Christian community.

-Spend time with people who care about and are committed to your purity.

-They may be more committed to your purity than you are…that will be helpful (because it is a picture of God’s commitment to you)—fasting or sleeping outside because of people’s sin.

Stay connected to a wide range of people—not just friends your age…but in their thirties and fifties…etc. Get to know elders at your church, befriend people who are living the type of life you want to live 10-30 years down the road.

If you really care about community, you’ll stop sinning. (Do you know what one person’s sin does to a community?? Tell story of Achen—

Revival might have broken out in Lexington if it weren’t for the sexual sin of Christians

This campus might have become entirely Christian if it weren’t for sin of students

The prayer of a RIGHTEOUS man is powerful and effective.

8.   Strive to think of people as God does and to see them in light of eternity.

Ask for every person you see, who you might lust after or think about using, “God, what is your heart for this person?” You created them, you love them, what good are you trying to bring about in their life?

Its pretty hard to exploit someone sexually if you are thinking about either spending eternity with them in heaven as your brother or sister.

Or if you can picture them eternally suffering, separate from God.

9.  Resolve to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Maybe it will be a spouse, maybe it will be the grace and freedom to be single and satisfied, but all things will be added until you.

In Conclusion

Sex is a gift from God; it represents a spiritual reality and is intended to be about the giving of yourself away to another. Sex brings about a whole-person connection—making two one. In so doing, it allows participants to transcend themselves and experience something beyond themselves.  Whenever sex is used other than as a loving gift of yourself to another as an earthly reflection of a heavenly, eternal reality, it is devalued.  When sex becomes selfish, we become like animals. Our sex life and our spiritual life are one and the same.

You can take one of two courses when it comes to God’s wisdom on sex. You can reject it and learn it through tragedy or you can accept it and learn it through patience.  In the name of sexual freedom we have become sexual slaves.  Freedom isn’t having everything you crave, its going without whatever you crave and being fine with it.

Let’s move beyond saying, “I fell into sin.” We need to own our actions. Let’s instead honesty confess “I chose to sin in this specific way. Here is exactly what I did and how I did it.” I renounce this as a way of life inconsistent with Christ and his kingdom. These are the consequences of my actions. This is how I will seek repentance, restoration, and if necessary, restitution.

Let’s make peace. Let’s confess our sins. Let’s be holy as He is holy.







I have to credit most of this wisdom to Dan Hamel.

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Marriage vs. Singleness

It’s time to talk about singleness vs. marriage. This is a looooong post full of wisdom gathered from the Word, my own life and people far wiser than I.

A quote from a man named Jim Elliot has always stuck with me:

"No one warns young people to follow Adam's example. He waited till God saw his need. Then God made Adam sleep, prepared for his mate, and brought her to him. We need more of this 'being asleep' in the will of God. Then we can receive what He brings us in His own time, if at all. Instead we are set as bloodhounds after a partner, considering everyone we see until our minds are so concerned with the sex problem that we can talk of nothing else when time comes around. It is true that a fellow cannot ignore women--but he can think of them as he ought to--as sisters, not as sparring partners!"

Singleness is a gift

Most people spend such a small part of their lives being single. Let’s enjoy it! Use your season of singleness effectively. I know if I spend my time yearning for a relationship or lusting or looking at pornography or worrying about what the girls think, it is not an effective use of my single life. Singleness is a period of your life where you can be solely devoted to Christ and no one else. What a great gift that is! Paul says ““I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” Singleness is good.  “So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.” Don’t conform to the pattern of this world regarding relationships; Paul is saying that staying single is better! Singleness is a gift; use it wisely.

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.  I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong^[b] and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.  But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing.”

In fact, I am envious of those who will go their whole life being single; what great things they will do for the Lord! Christians worship a single guy who died a virgin. As a single person in the church, one of the most important prerequisites to dating and marrying is being the right person. This means having your identity firmly rooted in Jesus rather than in your identity as a single person, what the culture says about being single, or what the culture says about marriage. Because of sin, singleness is less dangerous than marriage. Under the influence of sin, relationships have great propensity for destruction…it has recreational power. Because of the kingdom of God, singleness is less distracting than marriage. With the ushering in of the Kingdom of Heaven, finding a spouse, having sex, and raising a family is no longer the ultimate priority in life; the kingdom is! Traditional, conservative society has always made an idol out of the family.

How do you know if you have the gift of giving? Does it come naturally, does it come easily? It is not a burden but a joy. Sometimes you have to give and it is a burden, but you do it out of obedience. Likewise, how do you know if you have the gift of singleness? It comes naturally. It is not a burden most of the time. It doesn’t crush you. However, if you are single and you know that you do not have the gift, you still have to be faithful in your singleness, in the same way that those who do not have the gift of giving still have to give and those who do not have the gift of evangelism still have to tell their lost friends about Christ. Some gifts are for seasons.  I totally understand the rationale to put of marriage until you finish  your education, but what I don’t understand is why people won’t put off their marriage for the sake of the kingdom or sanctification! Some of you will be single during your 20’s and you will accomplish more kingdom work in those 10 years than married people accomplish in 30. It doesn’t mean that you should be single for your life, but for a season of fruitfulness. Some of you will be single for a few more years, and this season is for a reason! Singleness may preparation for a relationship that you are not currently ready for—and I’m assuming the preparation is 99% spiritual, you are either selfish or proud or unsanctified or haven’t learned to pray or lead or submit and so God is going to take you through a season of singles for  preparation for a relationship. But be careful, In the same way that relationships can become idols, so can singleness.

Singleness is a sign

“Singleness was legitimated in early Christianity not because sex was questionable, but because the church lives in the overlap of the ages. Christian singles gave up having heirs. In ancient times there could be no more radical act than that. This was a clear expression that one’s future is not guaranteed by the human family or your children but by God. Now, in the overlap of the ages, both singleness and marriedness witnesses to hope in God’s future renewed world. Those who don’t have children have hope in God’s ultimate family. Those who do have children have hope in God’s control of history. For Christians do not have hope in their children. Rather, their children are a sign of their hope that God has not abandoned this world.” –Stanley Hauerwas.

Become the one you wish to marry

Let’s define dating: Dating is entering into an exclusive relationship with another person for the purpose of determining if you should be married to on another. Why date if you are not ready to get married (sorry middle school sweethearts). When dating, you are basically determining if you should be helpmates with this person on your journey to the throne room of Heaven; you are determining if they are the person you want to unite yourself with and give your life for in order to present one another before God as your future glory self.

Many people assume that they are ready for a dating relationship simply because they want to be in a dating relationship. Many people are wrong.

Questions to ask to determine if you are prepared for a dating relationship:

-Am I consistently growing in Christlikeness?

-Is my relationship with God the priority in my life?

-Does my life reflect the Godly character and the fruit of the Spirit?

-Am I consistently helping others to grow in Christlikeness?

-Who am I serving?

-What has been the result of my investment into their lives?

-Have I developed a lifestyle of servant heartedness?

-Am I sexually pure?

-Have I honored God with my sexuality for a sustained season?

-Have I allowed God to purify my motives for being in a relationship?

-Am I wise?

-Have I learned to see people and reality from God’s perspective?

-Have I learned to be a good steward of my time and money?

-Have I consistently made good decisions and have followed through with them?

-Have I learned to submissively respond to the authority in my life?

-Am I immersed in authentic, transparent, dependent community?

-It takes a community to know an individual. ~ CS Lewis

-Your dating relationship should not be the primary relationship in your life.

-You should have the blessing of the wise and godly people in your life, helping you to have proper perspective on the above questions.

Consequently, the same criteria above can be used to determine if someone you are interested in is ready for a relationship.

Who says I deserve a relationship?

One thing I had to realize is this: I don’t even deserve a relationship. Since when am I entitled to one? And who said that a relationship would solve anything? But that thought only goes so far. The second thing I had to realize, and this thought is my dominating thought to this day in regards to dating: A relationship will come when it is glorifying to Him if I am living my life to glorify Him. Now I am not saying that there is necessarily a “chosen one” for you (how would I know?), because I think we have choices. But I am saying that it is only at the point when you will become more effective in your ministry that a relationship needs to happen. Regardless, God will work out all things for your good, whether you leave his will or not.

Mawwiage

I’ll be honest… I am not an expert here… But here are a few thoughts.

When you are in a bad marriage, you are much lonelier than you would be if you were not married at all. Marriage is protection from the sin of sexual immorality, but marriage does not make you immune to the sin of sexual immorality. Your body not only belongs to your spouse after you are married, but before. Relationships ought to be more about holiness than they are about happiness.

“The main reason I married Beth was to become more like Jesus.”

~Michael Defazio

Finally, I will end with fifteen words of wisdom for non married people

Via Dan Hamel

1.      Don’t be in a hurry to date.

(do not awaken love until it so desires)

2.      If you find someone you like, don’t rush into a relationship.

(give things time—you need to get to know a person)

3.      Grow in God when you are single.

(as I’ve seen it, it is really hard to grow in two relationships at the same time, at least with a  lot of intensity)

4.      Don’t date someone unless you are ready to be married and you could reasonably expect them to be your spouse.

5.      Don’t feel pressure to make dating relationships work.

Dating relationships that end are just as effective as dating relationships that end in marriage.

6.      Avoid sexual gratification through masturbation.

-We need to talk about this because I’m guessing 95% of guys I know struggle with it and somewhere between 30-40% of girls (though they are less apt to discuss it)

-We almost never hear about this. I never heard about this in church!

-I never heard about it from a parent or a trusted authority

10 reasons I want to admonish you to avoid it!

-It is, in essence, selfish…the root of all sin

-Because it is selfish, it doesn’t prepare you for marital sex (either practically or mentally)

-It doesn’t represent God’s plan for orgasm or for sexuality in marriage.

-It produces guilt

-It leads to loneliness (after orgasm the body releases chemicals that result in intense bonding…in marriage, that is perfect. In masturbation, that is depressing.)

-It becomes habitual and addictive

-The bible says not to be mastered by anything. (1 Cor 6:12)

-It is the opposite of self control—the fruit of the Spirit

-Romans 14:22 Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.

-I cannot think of a single way it will help you look, live or love more like Jesus.

7.      Avoid sexual gratification through touching or being touched by another person

To be honest, when I was growing up, since no one ever talked about sex in my family or in church—it wasn’t until I was 16 and we took a survey in my youth group about what everyone thought was “too far” that I realized things could be way too far that weren’t sex. All I ever heard was “no sex until marriage.”

Avoid intentionally exciting yourself or another person in the sort of way that elicits sexual arousal in you or them.

In this I would include kissing to the point of arousal, necking, touching sexual parts of the body or caressing of any part of the body. Each of these actions naturally lead to sexual arousal, which means they are intended for marriage.

What good are you accomplishing through fondling another person?

8.      Avoid unnecessary sexual stimulation.

-With the movies you watch (elaborate)—You’d blush if Jesus were in the room

-With the conversations you have (some conversations with your friends are counter-productive)

-With the media you consume on the internet (facebook is huge!—I know so many guys who talk about giving into sexual sin after looking through facebook pictures of THEIR FRIENDS)

-I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a woman. (Job 31:1)
-This is honestly a really good test to see if you are a slave or free when it comes to sexual sin. When something like this comes your way, what does it result in you doing?

9.      When you are tempted sexually, turn your desire and attention towards God.

Once you recognize that there is a desire in your heart or mind, acknowledge it before God outloud, then confess that your greatest desire is for God-to know him, love him, obey him and seek his delight. Then say, because I want you more than anything else, I refuse to follow this desire, I commit to follow you.

(First Night… “How have I failed you”)

Pray for an ever-increasing love for God and for an ever-increasing delight in obeying his commands. “The expulsive power of a new affection.”

You know one of the most effective ways to get over a person you had a crush on? Fall in love with someone new…especially if they are someone better!!

10.  Submerge your mind in scripture every day.

-Simply praying and asking God to remove this sin isn’t going to practically do much (I’m speaking from talking with dozens and dozens and dozens of guys)

-Romans 12

-Matthew 4

-five out of seven days isn’t enough.

-Two out of seven days isn’t enough.

-Every day if you are in the process of breaking free from sexual addiction.

11.  Stay busy with things that matter.

I’m not talking about over committing yourself, (though college students are, by in large, some of the lazier people I know).

I am talking about keeping your mind busy (Philippians 4:8-9) Whatever is true, whatever is noble…etc.

If you go to bed and the first thing you do is read a chapter of the bible and then the second thing you to is thank God for 10 blessings he gave you that day and the third thing you do is pray for your family and friends…you’ll be asleep by the time you would otherwise have given into sexual sin.

Biblical example from Ephesians 4:28 “He who has been stealing but steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.”

 (1)Remove this (2) Replace it with this (3) Results in this…your reward (Greater than before)

12.  Stay connected to Christian community.

-Spend time with people who care about and are committed to your purity.

-They may be more committed to your purity than you are…that will be helpful (because it is a picture of God’s commitment to you)—fasting or sleeping outside because of people’s sin.

Stay connected to a wide range of people—not just friends your age…but in their thirties and fifties…etc. Get to know elders at your church, befriend people who are living the type of life you want to live 10-30 years down the road.

If you really care about community, you’ll stop sinning. (Do you know what one person’s sin does to a community?? Tell story of Achen—

Revival might have broken out in Lexington if it weren’t for the sexual sin of Christians

This campus might have become entirely Christian if it weren’t for sin of students

The prayer of a RIGHTEOUS man is powerful and effective.

13.  Strive to think of people as God does and to see them in light of eternity.

Ask for every person you see, who you might lust after or think about using, “God, what is your heart for this person?” You created them, you love them, what good are you trying to bring about in their life?

Its pretty hard to exploit someone sexually if you are thinking about either spending eternity with them in heaven as your brother or sister.

Or if you can picture them eternally suffering, separate from God.

14.  Resolve to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Maybe it will be a spouse, maybe it will be the grace and freedom to be single and satisfied, but all things will be added until you.

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In good company

“Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough?” Do all you can to keep pride from rooting its way through you. Nothing makes us more miserable than self-absorption, the endless, unsmiling concentration on our needs, wants, treatment, ego, and record. 

We are the company we keep…

“What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”” Who you surround yourself determines who you are. Paul advises to keep our counsel full of pure and holy people. Both Paul and Jesus were very serious about filling our company with only those who are seeking and pursing a life with Christ… No hypocrites allowed. Test your relationships: If they are not making you more like Jesus, and if you are not making them more like Jesus, then something needs to change. Furthermore, you become the one you worship. If you idolize stars and sports players, you will become like them. If you spend time with Jesus, you’ll become more like Jesus. We are the company we keep.

But keeping good company is not our goal

We aren’t supposed to avoid sinners; in fact, it’s just the opposite. One of the most common things Jesus did was hang with the lost and despicable. If we find ourselves in a community of only Christians, then what good are we? How can we be salt to the world if we are stuck in the salt shaker? How can we be a light to the world if we are afraid to go into the darkness? We have created a theology that serves us; it is all about what we get. We get atonement and sacrifice and heaven and paradise and treasures… These are wonderful reasons to praise God, but we have emphasized so much of what we get, that we have forgotten about what we must lose, what we must do. Frankly, we need to get over ourselves. It is not about us. Persecution is not what we should fear, but social seduction. Persecution causes the Kingdom to spread like wild fire. Social seduction lulls us to sleep.

And we are not here to condemn the world, but bring life! Every time we interact with the lost, we tell them they are wrong. People in America know all about what Christians are against, but very few know what Christians are for. I don’t know about you, but that bothers me. We must love them. We are not supposed to be secret Christians who befriend people to perform the old bait and switch; get to know them and then bop them on the head with Jesus. We are meant to go out and heal people, loving them genuinely. Pure and faultless religion is this: caring for widows and orphans, the least of the least. Go help people and you’ll probably be hanging out with non-Christians.  The more that you fall in love with Jesus, the more you’ll get to know people who do not know Jesus. You are saved by grace. Stop worrying about it. You don’t have to earn anything anymore.

Surround yourself with good mentors. Surround yourself with good friends. Surround yourself with people to love and pour into. You need a spiritual mentor. You need a level of peers. You need people you are investing in. You need all three to be in balance. We are communal beings. If you are feeling isolated and alone, it’s because you are denying who God made you to be.

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Forgiven and Loved

Who is judging you?

“I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscious is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me,” and it is the precious blood of Jesus who has made me righteous, not anything I have done or can do. When we adopt this mentality, when we really believe that we are loved and accepted, we don’t have to fight for attention, or care about what others think, or search for love in all the wrong places, or strive to make a good impression. One thing we need to realize is that the enemy is constantly accusing us of what we have done wrong. One thing we need to grasp is that God is constantly singing praises and love over us, constantly seeing us as precious in his sight because we have been justified and restored. The father of lies is always shouting “You are not good enough!” “You are not a spiritual person!” “ The Holy Spirit wouldn’t dare work through you!” “You don’t have what it takes! “ The future is too much!” “Those grades, that failed relationship, that sickness, that sin, that time in your life just proves that you are worthless…” But do not listen to the lies! Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to say to yourself: "These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God's eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity, and held safe in an everlasting embrace." In Christ, you are a son or daughter of Christ. Child, you are forgiven and loved.

Therefore, we should judge no one. For what do you know that you did not receive? And if you receive it, why would you boast as if you did not? We must learn to measure ourselves, not by our knowledge about God, not by our gifts and responsibilities in the church, but by how we pray and what goes on in our hearts. The Lord will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

Look at we have gained

We already have all that we could possibly want! Already we have become rich! The man that has the whole world and Jesus has no more than the man who just has Jesus. We have been given power in Christ. Our thoughts of God are not great enough; we fail to reckon with the reality if his limitless wisdom and power. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. Which would you prefer? That we come to the world with a rod of discipline or that we come in love and with a gentle spirit? As Christians, we are spectacles to the whole universe, to angels as well as human beings. The easiest thing in the world is to be a Christian. What is hard is to be a sinner. Being a Christian is what we were created for. The life of faith has the support of an entire creation and the resources of a magnificent redemption. The structure of this world was created by God so we can live in it easily and happily as his children. In the course of Christian discipleship we discover that without Christ we were doing it the hard way and that with Christ we are doing it the easy way. It is not Christians who have it hard, but non-Christians. Everyone wants to be happy, to be blessed, but too many people are willfully refusing to pay attention to the One who wills our happiness and is ignorantly supposing that the Christian way is a harder way to get what they want than doing it on their own. They are wrong. God's ways and God's presence are where we experience the happiness that lasts.

Be humble. Be thankful. Be joyful. Live forgiven.

(Don't mind the cheesy looking background. Glorious song)

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Be a voice, not an echo.

*Reading over this post, I sound pretty darn preachy. But it is conviction with love, mostly for myself, but perhaps for you as well. Make no mistake, I am talking to myself more than anyone else.*

“I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly…” If you are complaining that a particular church service or preacher is not feeding you or growing you spiritually… the problem is you. Don’t sit around and become spiritually obese, constantly absorbing message after message, series after series. Is is up to you to grow; don’t expect people to continue to milk you. Be a reproducer of the Word, not just a receiver. If you are listening or reading because you enjoy the jokes of Jon Weece or the good feelings a sermon can give, then you are still worldly. Become kingdom focused. Go, and make disciples who make disciples who make disciples. Go and defend the poor and heal the sick… Go. Christians are like manure: If they all sit around in the same place they stank, but if they spread out across the fields, they create a harvest unheard of.

Be a voice, not an echo:

What, after all, is John Piper? And what is C.S. Lewis? Only servants, through whom you came to understand—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. How can anyone claim to lead someone to Christ? Is it not the Holy Spirit alone? And is it not the culmination of all the work the Spirit has done through us? Therefore, only God is the one who brings people to His son. Look at John the Baptist. Jesus said that John was the greatest of anyone born among men in all of history before him. John was a voice in the desert, he was not an echo. He spoke God’s word, not an echo of the latest teachers. Hear me out, I am not saying you shouldn't quote great authors and speakers—I do it all the time—but let your speech be seasoned with salt: the Word of God. No one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. Build on the foundation of Jesus and his word.

God’s Temple

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? Do you understand what that means? That means that God has chosen to interact with the world through you, through us. You are greatest force to heal this world. Where you go, God’s Spirit is there. So push back the darkness and give life, peace and joy in everything you do. God's temple is sacred; You are sacred. Make yourself pure and blameless so that the Spirit may dwell powerfully in you. The sin you most want to hide is the sin you most need to confess. Therefore, may your temple be continually strengthened and cleaned, built on the foundation of Jesus.

Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this world, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise… A paradox right? But the wisdom of the world is foolishness in God’s sight. God is attracted to weakness. He can’t resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need him. Our weakness, in fact, makes room for his power. Rely on God’s wisdom alone. So then, no more boasting about human leaders! All things are ours, whether Francis Chan or John Piper or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.

Father, may we be delightedly humble in you. May we rely solely on your wisdom. I don’t want to lead anyone unless I am following you. Write your word on our hearts. Season our conversation with your love and joy. Give me words to speak. Tell me when to shut up. Make me like a sailboat, diligently working to keep my sails to your Wind and solely dependent on your strength and direction. Amen.

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You can't even imagine...

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those love him.” Do you trust God when he says no or not in this way? Do you hold on to the hope that God really does work out everything to the good of those who love Him? God is not frustrating our prayers. He has heard, and in wisdom withheld an unusual work. God withholds blessing only in wisdom, never in spite or aloofness. The Lord is teaching me to say with the psalmist, 'I delight to do Thy will,' instead of the usual, 'Well, I suppose it's the Lord's will so we'll just have to put up with it.' Although it's true that God's plans do not always work out in the ways we would prefer, it is amazing how often we focus on the relatively few difficult circumstances of our lives and tend to forget his repeated, loving acts of deliverance that occur so regularly. God is doing things that you don't understand, things that are deeper and better and more wonderful than you imagined, but you must believe! Absolutely refuse to worry! Consciously and deliberately remind yourself that in his timing, God is able to take care of the situation fairly and fully. You can always trust him to do that. Though you hear nothing, he is speaking. Though you see nothing, he is acting. With God there are no accidents. Every incident is intended to bring us closer to him. 

I’ve seen Satan use the future as a weapon against our spirits. He wants us to worry. He wants us to take our trust out of our Father and put it in ourselves, in our own hard work, in our own ability to control the circumstances, knowing that if we do, we are sure to fail. The father of lies uses future events to cast fear into our present. But we should remember that the shadow a thing casts often far exceeds the size of the actual thing itself and though some future fear may strut brave darkness as you approach, the thing itself will be but a speck when it is behind you. Anxiety makes tyrants out of us. Joy-sapping worries. Day-numbing dread. Repeated bouts of insecurity that petrify and paralyze us. Hysteria is not from God. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and self-control" (2 Tim. 1:7)

The Father has something unimaginable in mind for our lives, literally. Whatever it means to be filled to the brim with goodness and life, that's what God wants for you. He wants that for you now, in this life, and he wants that for you forever. When pleasures will move us toward that kind of life, that's what he gives. When pain moves us toward it, that's what he gives. God stands ready with whatever it takes to provide his children with abundant life. The Spirit will lead you to the way of the cross, as He led Jesus to the cross, and that is definitely not a safe or pretty or comfortable place to be. The Holy Spirit of God will mold you into the person you were made to be. This often incredibly painful process strips off our selfishness, pride, and fear.  

Only the Spirit knows the mind of God, and it is up to us to follow and obey the Spirit. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. But we have the mind of Christ.

Where God is leading me:

Through prayer, God has been revealing a lot about my future and my abilities to me to the point where my mind is beyond blown. Through several mediums (Pastor Tim, an elder, personal prayer), God has told me some absolutely jaw dropping things. I want to record them here so I can remember just all that he has in store for me.

Over the summer, an elder of a church I was working with prophesied over me. God told me that He would give me a book and that I would know what to do without a doubt when it was time. He told me I had a gift of making application out of the Word. He told me to not worry about money. He told me He was well-pleased (What joy!).

In the last few weeks, I have been praying with Pastor Tim, a man who has the gift of listening prayer (allowing God to speak through him). God revealed almost word for word what that elder had said 3 months ago (straight blew my mind). God told me I would be a leader, a trail-blazer, one who would not be content with the average life. God kept speaking of wisdom and proverbs and the ability to write and interpret real application out of scripture. God said I would have a severe passion to disciple others and I would have a life of adventure. He mentioned things of deep personal nature, so deep I don’t need to publish them ;)

All these revelations have blown my mind and were a complete gift. What an incredible God we serve. I will say it again, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those love him.”

So know that God is both in control and full of good thoughts towards you (what an incredible combination!). Go, refusing to worry, allowing your mind to leap at the unimaginable thought of all God has in store for you, if you will only love him and trust him.

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