There
is so much to talk about when dealing with the topic of parents and parenthood. I am not a parent—just like I am not married—but
recently, I have seen the prodigious impact and role of parents in life. I just
want to spell out a few observations.
The Role of the Parent
God
is our Father and our parents imitate that relationship. Just as a marriage is supposed to imitate the relationship between
Christ and His church, parenthood is supposed to imitate the role between God
and His Children. Our parents give us one of the greatest examples of who God
is. If parents don’t treat their
children like God treats His children, then the children with have a terrible
damaged view of who God is. I am thoroughly convinced that many do not seek
God because they have no idea what He is like. If I become a Father, I will do
all I can to love my children—and discipline my children—as God loves and
disciplines me. God yearns for a generation of godly parents.
Trouble Transfers
In
the Old Testament, the sins of the father transferred over to the sins of the
family. The father’s actions either blessed or doomed the generations beyond them.
Likewise, the success or failure of parents to love as God loves either blesses
or curses the generation to come. For most of us, as future parents, it is our
job to love and sacrifice for our children as God loves and sacrificed for us.
We will be different. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring
them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Parents control the success
or failure of the child.
A Break in the Family Tree
Fortunately
for us, God is our Father when we give our life to Him. Jesus is in the business of breaking the family tree. Before
Christ, blood was thicker than water so to speak, meaning your family was more
important than anyone else. But Jesus created a new family and He flipped this
world on its head. Now, those bonded by the waters of baptism are closer than
family. Water is now thicker than blood. I have talked to so many college
students—Christian parents or not—whose Christian brothers and sisters are so
much closer in love and spirit than their parents ever were. Jesus breaks the
family tree and shifts community from earthly family to the heavenly family. It is not that their parents failed them—most
of them did an incredible job—but instead, Jesus has created a new kingdom with
new rules and new relationships. However, there is nothing better than
parents who are connected to their children by both blood and the water of
baptism! The joy in a family united by Christ is a joy that little people could
ever comprehend.
Father to the Fatherless
I work
with and love many families (too many) that lack a father figure and the effect
on the children is unfortunately apparent. In a study of developing children,
psychologists saw an alarming change in behavior when an older male entered a
situation, no matter who he was. Men, it is our role to lead a generation. Your
presence matters! Are you pouring into any children? I know several of young
boys and girls that are starving for mentor. God makes His heart crystal clear:
Religion that God consider pure and faultless is this: to love widows and
orphans in their distress and to keep yourself from being corrupted by this
world. Usually when we take care of the first, we don’t have to worry about the
second. Want to feel God’s heart? Want to bring redemption to a lost and broken
world? Go love some orphans and widows. It is in this area that we have failed
as a church. Don’t get lost in the prosperity gospel; this life isn’t about
you. You were saved and sanctified to do good deed to glorify the King. The
funny thing is: once we give up our self, our money, and our time, we find an
unimaginable joy. Our selfishness is the thing that has made us so miserable
for all this time. Jesus points out the children and shows us that these weak,
helpless, and relatively useless (in the eyes of that society) are the most
important in the kingdom. Go love them.
Honor Your Parents
“Obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” God goes as far as to promise us
that if we honor our father and mother, we will be blessed. The evidence is
unmistakable. Regardless of whether your parents are a good representation of
who God is or not, it is your role to love them and honor them. You need to
love them as you have been loved by God. You need to forgive them as you have
been forgiven. If some of you would just
honor your parents, they would see Christ in you and seek Him themselves. Just
because your parents didn’t get parenting right, doesn’t mean you can be wrong.
Parents aren’t an exception from Jesus in you. In fact, God places even more
importance on them. Serve your parents with love. They are imperfect and they
may treat you like crap, but no one was treated worse than Jesus. Be like Jesus and take things that weren’t
your responsibility, and make it your responsibility. Life isn’t fair;
praise the Lord for that. Ultimately, you have the greatest Father; he’s been a
father for… well… ever. He knows what He is doing.
We are Children
As
children of God, we are like little toddlers on a road trip. God is trying to
get us to an amazing vacation with him. However, as children, we have no
concept of what is happening.
-We have no concept of time. We have no
patience. Our life is a mere two seconds in eternity and yet we are busy
whining about how long a certain season
or event is taking to either come or go. Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Fortunately for us, our Father has some mega patience. Or perhaps the opposite is
true: we think this life will last forever and so we live like it.
-We have no idea what is in store. We can’t imagine
the paradise we have ahead of us. How does your brother poking you matter in
light of a month in Disneyland? What is a season of pain in light of eternity
in paradise? How can we bicker with what is coming to us, especially when we
don’t deserve it at all. It’s like God is taking all of the kid’s out of
juvenile detention and taking them to live at Disney world.
-We don’t know what’s best for us. We settle for
the world’s largest free standing toothpick Eiffle Tower on the side of the
road instead of getting to the greatest attraction ever created. We think lying
down in the seat is the best thing for us when we are winding around the roads
of West Virginia (#barf). We need to trust that He knows what is best.
-To reach the destination, He is going
to have to say no to certain requests. We want to stop at every rest stop. We
want to eat that pit stop grease food. We want to stay and play a while at the
McDonald’s play place when we need to get going.
Let’s
be good parents. Let’s bless those without good parents or without parents at
all. Let’s be good children. God promises blessing for those who honor Him, the
ultimate Parent.
I dedicate this post to my incredible
parents, Mark and Jill Eaton. While not perfect, they glorified God by raising
me in a loving and disciplined home. Who can imagine the impact of their
sacrifice?
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